So you and your boyfriend have been dating for almost six months. You may think it’s about time he knew everything about you, from your first kiss to your most secret fear. Go ahead and spill those, but there are still some secrets you should hold close to your bosom at this point in the relationship. Here are a few things you do not want your boyfriend to get wind of, even when you’ve gotten very close:
1. The Slvttiest Thing You’ve Ever Done
That marathon threesome with you had with two, strange bouncers involving a whole lot of orifices and cheese…not something to bring up unless you want to significantly disturb your lover.
2. Which Of His Friends You Think Are Cute
His best friend Danny has abs you could cut glass with… but never mention that to your guy. Unless you want jealous back-and-forth glances from him next time you and Danny inhabit the same room.
3. How Many People You’ve Slept With
Unless you want to know his number, too…
4. How Much You Still Care About Your Exes
Sleeping with them behind his back is one thing, but if you just still love and care about them as people you once shared a very special bond with, you should definitely keep those relationships alive. Just let your boyfriend know that you guys still hang out without gushing about their various attributes.
5. That You Happen To Hate The Florida-Shaped Mole On His Back
Or whatever minor physical defect that irks you. He can’t do anything about it, and it’s small enough that it would be ridiculous to mention when you adore everything else about the guy.
6. How Much You Can’t Stand His Mother
He may not be able to stand her, either, but it’s his mother you’re talking about. Show some respect.